Now that we have looked at ‘The Idolatry of Marriage‘ we’ll be continuing the 3-part series by looking at how to present the desire of marriage to God, in a healthy way.
The first step in this is to say ‘I do’ to God. Not as practice for the day you may say ‘I do’ to your Ruth or Boaz, but as a sign of trusting His plan for your life. Knowing that come what may, His plan is for you to prosper and to bring about a future and hope – word to Jeremiah 29:11.
Read on….
Pray & Stay Guarded
More often than not we have our ideal lives mapped out in our heads or on a picture-perfect vision board but we need to ask God if our vision matches His. With wisdom, when thinking about the desire to marry, invite Jesus in through prayer. Relationships are an important area to get God’s approval on because He loves us so deeply. We need to ensure the relationships we form in both platonic and marriage are right for us and bring Him glory.
A scripture to note is Philippians 4:6-7 NIV: ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’
Knowing we have a Father we can present our requests to and is faithful to hear us, we need not be anxious about the desire for marriage. So instead of holding it in our heart (which He can see anyway, omniscient vibes) release it into His caring hands. God delights in us approaching Him with confidence. In this, you can learn the heart of God concerning this area, keep your heart guarded in the season of singleness and align yourself with His timeline for your life which brings peace.
God is not a GENIE who grants wishes!
So, we know we can submit our wants to God but we have to check our heart posture when doing so. God is not a genie ready to grant us three wishes, He is our Father who has a divine plan and is more concerned with fulfilling His will than our own. The Bible verse: Psalm 36:4 ‘Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart,’ is a popular yet highly misinterpreted verse. Many people have taken it to mean that God will give us anything we desire, which is not the case at all because God doesn’t live for us, we live for Him.
When raising the desire for marriage to God make sure you have the right posture, a posture that is willing to hear and accept God’s answer no matter what. The response could be ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘not yet’. Whatever it may be, an important question to ask ourselves is, are we okay with the latter two outcomes? Is Jesus alone enough?
Above all, our desires are to be submitted to Him.
Those who wait shall renew their strength
We touched on the waiting season in the first part of this series, but let’s go into a bit more detail. When having a desire for something, waiting can be difficult for some and I am reminded of the meme where a person was shouting ‘God I am not your strongest soldier!’, and if we’re honest, exercising patience requires strength. Couple that with living in a social media #Husbae #Wifey #ISaidYes era, where nuptials, date nights and choreographed reception entrances are shared online, can make the longing for a spouse that much deeper. However, one of the reasons our Father makes us wait is to see if we are truly content with Him.
Our ‘waiting season’ is important because as One Church Pastor Toure Roberts says: ‘It is only when you are satisfied in your singleness season that you can begin to think about marriage.’ So, instead of shouting from the rooftop ‘GOD WHEN,’ perhaps it should be ‘God I trust you and I will wait.’ Add to that a prayer of strength to wait well knowing that His plans and purposes prevail.
Proverbs 19:21 NIV: ‘Many are the plans in a person’s heart but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.’
What if 'the one' comes while I'm waiting?
It wouldn’t be strange for a person to come into the picture and shoot their shot or give you a hint to shoot yours. But remember to involve God every step of the way checking to see if He wants you to move forward, to avoid running ahead to the altar with a red flag, instead of walking in purpose and pace with a green one.
Remember the season of singleness is also a time of character-refining, growth and preparation, not only for marriage but for life and your individual calling in itself. So if a relationship doesn’t end in a marriage proposal, does that mean God doesn’t want you to get married? Not necessarily no. Instead, allow yourself to continually be built up in Him, being teachable, so you are ready when the right person comes along.
Ultimately, be reminded that wanting to be married is a godly desire and should remain just that. Don’t let the desire grow into idolatry and be in a place of error. Give it to God and enjoy the blessing of the season you are in. Enjoy your time with Jesus without your attention being divided across marital and eventually family life when/if children come into the equation. God is not late nor has He forgotten you.
Prayer: Father, thank You that I can place my desires into Your hand, knowing You care for me and want the best for me. Help me to invite You into this season of my life. Guide my heart, thoughts and actions and help me to always be content in You, in Jesus name, amen.
We still have one more post to go in this series, so stay tuned!!
Words by Esther Okusaga
