We have now reached the final post in our 3-part series on marriage (or the desire thereof)
So far, we have talked about the idolatry of marriage and how to present our desire to say ‘I do’ in a healthy way to God.
Today’s post calls for solemn reflection and I pray that as you read, you are able to truthfully answer the question, without a ring on your finger, a husband to submit to or a wife to love like Christ loved the church: ‘Is Jesus alone enough?’
Meet Sarah , a woman waiting for marriage
Sarah, is a woman in her mid-twenties who has a well-paying 9-5 job in London, serves in church as a Youth Leader and is the life and party of her godly circle of friends. Of lately, almost every Saturday there is a wedding she must attend either as a bridesmaid or as a guest. It doesn’t matter if she is on the wedding train or chopping rice from the seats, she is constantly on the lookout for a single God-fearing man because she dreams about having her own #hashtag one day.
Unfortunately, Mr Right is nowhere to be found and she is stuck wondering if she is truly content with the life God has given her. Why hasn’t marriage happened for her yet?
She is the ideal woman, serving, making money moves and trying to walk in the purpose God has given her. Shouldn’t God have rewarded her with a husband already?
Sarah can’t help but think something is missing in her life, a man that will sweep her off her feet and see her as the most precious thing in the world. Her platonic friendships are nice, but she too wants a partner she can do everything with.
“GOD WHEN?” is the soundtrack of Sarah’s life and it doesn’t seem like God is listening because the right side of her bed is still empty at night. As time passes by Sarah is starting to believe marriage is never going to happen and something about this doesn’t sit right with her.
She can’t imagine living her days with nobody to come back home to. Is singleness really going to be the beginning and end of her story?
God when will I marry?
Some of us reading can relate with Sarah’s story and we too are wondering if we are truly content with the life God has given us. Everyone around us is getting married, friends we’ve grown up with are starting families, meanwhile we are going to the office three times a week, spending our Sundays at church, waiting for the heavens to open and drop a spouse in our laps.
Furthermore, for some of us singleness is not a dream come true but a nightmare we want to wake up from. We lift up our voices to God shouting at Him to hurry up and manufacture the life partner we would be spending the rest of our lives with.
As we are doing this what we are really saying is “Jesus you are not enough I need something more!”
For me personally I remember someone asking me ‘What if you don’t get married?’ My eyes bulged and mouth dropped open, thinking it was impossible for God to do such a thing to me.
However, nowhere in the Bible does it say everyone will get married.
Let us have the attitude of gratitude
So, knowing this we must learn to be grateful for what we do have. I think about the story of Hannah in the Bible who was desperate for a child, she just wanted to be a mother and eventually because her rival Peninnah would provoke her she began weeping and stopped eating. Elkanah her husband could see his longing wife and this is what he had to say in 1 Samuel 1:8:
Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”
God is asking you just like Elkanah ‘why are you downhearted at not having a spouse? Don’t I mean more to you than a spouse? Why aren’t you thankful for what I have already given you?’
Now of course eventually Hannah has her son Samuel, but what I am trying to help us understand is that God is worth more than our desires. We have to develop a mind that is not just focused on what seems to be missing.
How do we build contentment?
The question is how do we do this? How do we build contentment?
First of all, identify the good things God has given you, if you cannot do this yourself ask Him to highlight them for you. Then once you have done this think about how much your life will change if you should get married, because some of us dream about marriage in such a rosy way that we don’t actually see the reality of this sacred union.
Someone who highlights the difference between marriage and singleness is Apostle Paul.
1 Corinthians 7:34-35
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs. Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in the right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
Is Jesus enough for you?
I ask you again, is Jesus alone enough for you?
I know it can be hard to imagine a life with just Jesus, but I promise you there is nothing empty about this life. This life is filled with unconditional love, unlimited joy and you will be walking with a friend who sticks closer to you than a brother.
Jesus is more than enough because He is life. There is nothing a man or woman can offer us that cannot be found in our Saviour.
Say this prayer with me as we end this series:
Father, I thank You for giving me a beautiful life, it may not always feel beautiful but because you are in it I pray I will start to see this life as worthy. I pray I will start to be thankful for everything You have provided and gifted me, I pray I will not focus on what is missing anymore. I know You have a good purpose and plan for my life because You are a good God! I pray marriage will not be an idol in my life, I will not chase after a spouse more than I chase after You. I pray I will see You as enough, if marriage is not Your desire for me I pray I will be completely satisfied with You alone. Help me Lord to love with You all my strength, soul and mind. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
Words by Esther Okusaga
