It’s 2022, you’re single, and your age mates are doing #BaeForLife with their spouses. But this isn’t bad news for those who have yet to say ‘I do’ because being single is a blessing and, more importantly, because love is not limited to marital relationships. When we look at scripture, we see four unique types of love; (Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape) characterised by romantic love, family love, brotherly love, and God’s divine love.
So if you are waiting for your holy matrimony moment, wait well and read on to see how you can apply 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 to your life before and during dating.
Love is…Patient
A reminder to exercise patience as you get to know each other. No relationship is perfect, so it’s essential to give grace; knowing this too is an act of love. Patience can also extend to being patient with yourself, as you may not have reached the place of dating yet. Don’t settle for less than God’s best for you if it is His will for you to marry. Don’t rush the process, but instead, seek God.
Love is…Kind
When meeting someone new, be kind. They may not tick all the boxes on your wish list or possess what you think you need in a partner, but God still loves them, and kindness should be the primary response to them even if it doesn’t lead to anything more.
Love does not envy
Don’t resent or idolise others for their relationships, what they have, or what they appear to have. You will never know the whole story, the roots of their union or sacrifices made. Social media has created the perfect environment to present whatever narrative we choose that can sometimes be far from reality. Be thankful for your current season and find contentment God – even if that’s not always easy. Choose to celebrate those experiencing the joys of being in a relationship and build them up in prayer.
Love does not boast, it is not proud
Be mindful of others struggles. This does not mean you should be bound by the possibility of ‘upsetting’ others, but exercise wisdom and compassion if deciding to flood a new relationship all over social media. It can sometimes be inconsiderate of those who are desperate to find love. Enjoy and appreciate your situation, celebrate, but don’t boast. Do not compete among peers or in your relationship, nor allow your character to exhibit ‘show off’ traits. Humility is the fruit to possess.
Love does not dishonour, it is not self-seeking.
Be honourable in your pursuit of love. If you are spending time with someone and it appears to be going nicely, be respectful of each other’s expectations and boundaries. Honour the person by giving them time and effort, for however long that may be. Be reasonable and respectful with pace. Additionally, be mindful not to be selfish in your search either; we all have to compromise in some way in relationships. When this is a mutual understanding, space is made for the God-kind-of-love relationship to flourish.
Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Relationships require fresh starts often, perhaps even daily. The past is the past (unless there are red flags and things to be aware of). We all fall short and have a history of errors and mistakes. Likewise, we all have a future, but we can’t have it unless we accept the past and move on and learn from it. God doesn’t hang our sins over us but forgives us. We should extend this same love to others.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth
Building a relationship on the foundation of Christ and keeping Him as the centre is vital. Rejoice in the gospel truth together, put God first above all else. Worship, pray and read the Bible together, invite the Holy Spirit into every situation and avoid things that are not of God.
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres
Boundaries and expectations are key points to discuss and clarify when searching for love, from initial dating and beyond. Even if the relationship does not move beyond a first date, be reliable and trustworthy. When dating, both parties open up and become vulnerable, sharing information about parts of their lives for the first time to know more about each other. Protect each other’s hearts and always persevere in making the relationship the best it can be.
God’s idea of love is perfect, and even though we may not always reflect His love perfectly, we can rest in the grace we have to go to Him for help in this area.
Prayer: Lord, thank You for Your love. Help me to love others as You do. I pray for the grace to establish the God-kind-of-love in my relationship and friendships. Help me apply Your word to the way I love others daily, in Jesus name, amen.
Words by Dara Olagbami
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